It's like night and day

 Just a small comparison between the job I have now and the one I could have had if I had waited for the grocery store I used to work for to reopen.

On July 1st I received an email saying that everyone across all divisions was being paid a $250 bonus for the 4th of July. Normally this would be a paid holiday but this year it fell on a Saturday so it wasn

When I worked at the grocery store the only day we ever closed was Christmas day. Now, they are closed for all holidays. According to their Facebook posts it's so their employees can spend the day with their families. According to employees that I used to work with, it's because he doesn't want to pay time and a half. I asked if they at least get holiday pay and I was told no. They no longer get paid for any holiday.

I really feel like I dodged a bullet by not going back there. It's nice to work for a company that cares about their employees

Just a small update. The other girl who I was working with in the office found another job and last Friday was her last day. Now I will be alone 3 out of 5 days and my manager will be coming twice a week from out of town. When I inquired about days that I already had scheduled off or one that I need to leave early I was told that I shouldn't worry about any time off at all and they would work something out even if it meant closing the office early so I could leave for an appointment. They really have gone above and beyond. 

The cost of having it handled

I went to AI to help me put into words what I was feeling about being proud of being independent but struggling with it at the same time. This is an edited version of what AI composed. 

We wear independence like a badge of honor. "I’ve got it," is our mantra. And it’s a great survival strategy—until it isn’t.

There is a quiet, exhausting downside to being fiercely self-reliant. Eventually, your strength transforms from a choice into a cage.

When you are consistently dependable, you inadvertently teach the world that you don't need tending to. People mistake your competence for immunity to exhaustion. Because you aren’t projecting a crisis, they assume you're perfectly fine. Your needs become invisible simply because you are too good at hiding the weight.

For the fiercely independent, actually asking for help is an excruciating exercise in vulnerability. You have to swallow your pride and override the internal voice telling you that needing help means failing.

But the real heartbreak happens after you finally ask: 

People say, "Let me know if you need anything," but because you look so sturdy, they forget to follow through.

When someone agrees to help and then simply forgets, it feels devastating. It reinforces the exact narrative that made you hyper-independent in the first place: “If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.” 

Real strength isn’t about carrying an impossible load until your back breaks. It’s about having the courage to say, "I am drowning right now, and I need a hand."

You shouldn't have to prove you are completely broken before the people in your life offer you a hand. Consider this your permission slip to let the shield drop, even if just for a moment.

Now if only I could follow this advice and let that shield drop. Instead I'll more than likely continue to let it break me. 

Archive dive

 I have nothing to use for a blog post today. I decided to do a little archive dive and see what I could find. This is just a random selection of pictures I found.

Happy Independence day

 The 4th of July marks the day the Declaration of Independence was adopted in 1776, setting the foundation for the freedoms and ideals that shape the United States. It’s a moment to look back at the courage it took to break away, and to appreciate the rights and opportunities we have because of it.

Wishing you a safe, joyful, and meaningful Independence Day — however you choose to celebrate it.