Messages like the one in this image talk about mothers as best friends, protectors, and quiet heroes. That wasn’t my reality. My mother wasn’t someone I could rely on. She wasn’t the person I confided in, and she wasn’t the steady presence people imagine when they talk about “what mothers do.”
She was the one who called me a brat. She was the one who made me feel like I was the problem instead of the child who needed guidance. And the truth is simple: I will never see the sacrifices she made because I don’t believe she ever sacrificed once for her children.
The parent who actually showed up was my dad. He’s the one who kept things stable, who paid attention, who made sure I didn’t get lost in the chaos. If I turned out grounded, it’s because he stepped in where she didn’t. He didn’t need credit or praise — he just did the job.
So when I see messages reminding people to appreciate their mothers, I understand why they resonate with some. But they don’t fit every story. Not every mother was quietly carrying the weight of the world. Some were simply absent in ways that mattered. Some of us grew up learning independence because the person who was supposed to guide us wasn’t interested or wasn’t capable.
This isn’t bitterness. It’s clarity. My childhood didn’t match the quote, and that’s okay. What it does remind me of is this: sometimes the parent who truly shaped you isn’t the one the world assumes. Sometimes it’s the one who quietly held everything together while someone else took the spotlight.
20 comments:
I totally relate to this, Ann. In answer to your question, I didn't really like the movie until toward the end. It did have great special effects though.
There is a lot of sentimentality in messages like that one. There is truth, too, for some, but for others it is a reminder of what they missed.
My mom was there for my brother and me. She was the glue that held our family together.
I skip any sentimental claptrap about mothers - my mere existence made my mother angry and she never hesitated in showing it - but the years have brought me to just feeling sorry for her - how horrible it must have been to be her.
I'm sorry you grew up with that Ann. I know exactly how it feels because I did too. I remember how hard it always was to find a Mother's Day card for her because she was nothing like anything they said. Luckily for me I had two grandmothers and a couple of gr. grandmothers that showed me love, guidance and strength. If it wasn't for them, I have no idea how I would have turned out.
I'm glad you had your dad. So many of us turned out okay in spite of our backgrounds. You certainly did.
Same. Except I didn't have a dad there to counter balance the situation as mine died when I was seven. I think that actually set her in full motion. Anyway, I'd like to think that I learned not to be that way with my kids.
I’m glad you had your dad. ❤️
Ann I appreciate your Daddy so much for making you who you are and absolutely there are many mothers who should not be mothers.
I'm fortunate my Mom was very nurturing and loving. She was the baby of 7 children she received lots of love from all older sisters and her Mom
Hugs cecilia
My mother was a jewel and I miss her horribly. My father not so much. He was a tyrant. Funny how that works.
Have a fabulous day and week, Ann. Big hug to you and lots of scritches to Gibbs. ♥
I am very sorry for those whose mom was not the mom she needed to be... I am Blessed...My mom was the most caring, most loving lady around...She never displayed any type of frustration toward any of her 4 kids..she was gentle and kind as she taught us right from wrong...
I'm so glad you had a caring dad and helped you grow into the wonderful person you are today.
I am so grateful I had a mom and dad that loved me and were't afraid to show it to the world. It makes me ache for those who were less fortunate.
(((hugs)))
Sue
My mom was very loving but also very critical of me, especially when I was older and raising my own kids! I'm sorry you didn't have a loving mom but I'm glad your dad was there for you.
Life is sure not what everyone cracks it up to be.
Glad you were honest. Glad you had your dad.
I had the opposite situation.
Some people don't have either - now that is tough too.
Sandie/Chatty
I always felt that I was not the daughter my mother hoped I'd be.
But she did try her best and I know she loved me and I did love her.
My dad was the best for me too.
I had two wonderful grandmothers.
Sorry about your mom but so glad you had your dad.
I have too much to say, to say it here. It is wonderful that your dad was there for you.
I'm so sorry for those who haven't had a good experience with their mom. Mine was good... although we were very different. I don't think she ever understood me, but we loved each other.
this was hard to read and i am sure it was hard to share. my experience was very similar...i have always been envious of people who had great parents. both my mom and especially my dad left a lot to be desired!! i was a better parent because of it!!
This post genuinely touched my heart. The way you shared the thoughts and emotions behind the topic made it feel very personal and relatable. Some posts give you information, while others make you stop and think—and this one definitely did that. Thank you for sharing something so meaningful.
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I'm sorry you had a mother who wasn't there for you Ann, but glad you had a dad who was. My mother was warm and loving but she suffered from really bad depression, and those times she disappeared for weeks, months on end, not physically but inside her head which was a very dark place. I always tried to make her smiles, always tried to get her to laugh by being goofy. I never could at such times but when she finally did smile, I knew, even as a kid, that my mum was coming back to me. Dad was a policeman and was gone a lot but he was a good dad when he was home.
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