I was going to keep this off the blog but since I hinted at it yesterday and some of you asked questions I decided what the heck, why not. This could get long so if you aren't in the mood for long you might want to stop here. Otherwise grab a cup of coffee and I'll begin my tale.
Yes, my mother recently passed away. As a matter of fact it was 5 days before Wade passed away. My mother and I were not close. I respected the fact that she was my mother but that was about it. She divorced my father when I was about 10. From there she went on to marry 2 other men. I lived with her for a couple of years until she moved out of the school district and then I moved back with my father where I stayed until I got married. My mother had other more important things to worry about. I was simply the spoiled rotten brat.
When I was 13 she had another child with her second husband. I will refer to her as my mothers daughter from her second marriage. (MDFSM) Since my mother rarely lived close to me I really didn't get to know MDFSM. Once she was an adult wherever she lived, my mother lived. I can't recall how long ago it was that my mother moved back here saying that MDFSM had kicked her out and said she couldn't live with her any more. For my sanity I maintained the "respect because she was my mother" thing. If she called me I would be courteous and civil but I did not go out of my way to make contact with her. I couldn't take the conversations that revolved around every ache and pain, how she wasn't going to be on this earth for much long and then the breakdown on MDFSM and her children. Every Christmas card, birthday card and every other card she ever sent was a complaint about her diabetes, high blood pressure, arthritis and all the other ailments. Just once it would have been nice to get a card that just said Merry Christmas plain and simple.
Lets fast forward to this past June. She passed away on the 8th. MDFSM sent my daughter a text message telling her. When my daughter asked if she was going to contact me MDFSM said no. She told my daughter that there was no funeral or service, they were having her cremated because supposedly that's what my mother wanted. She and her husband were cleaning out the apartment and if there was anything my daughter wanted she needed to be there by such and such a date. End of story.
I can't remember how long after Wade died I got a comment on my blog from MDFSM asking if I saw her other comment. I went back and found a comment (on the blog mind you) saying that my mother never changed the beneficiary on her life insurance policy and I was still listed as the beneficiary. If I wanted the paper work I needed to give her my address. I sent her my address through email as well as through facebook messenger but never heard another word from her.
Now fast forward to a couple weeks ago. I got a letter from the insurance company where my mother had her life insurance policy. They say they need additional information. They need a certified death certificate. I've tried to contact MDFSM but she will not answer my emails or facebook messages. I have no idea where she lives so I have no physical address for her nor do I have a phone number. I have no idea what funeral home handled the cremation and I don't know my mother's social security number which is needed to apply for the death certificate. I called the insurance company and they suggested going to the social security administration. They said that since I'm a family member they would give me that information.
When I went to the SSA on Monday and told the lady what I wanted she said she couldn't give me that. I asked what she suggested, calling all the funeral homes in the area until I find the one who handled the cremation? I told her the entire story and gave her copies of my birth certificate, marriage certificate from marriage one and two to prove who I was. After talking with her she made copies of everything and said she would look into it and get back to me.
So that is where I'm at right now. This whole thing could be a whole lot easier if MDFSM would just provide the needed info. I'm also wondering if there was a will because at one time my mother had said that she had listed me as the executor of her will. Of course she could have had that changed but I have no idea. Honestly, one way or the other I don't really care, I'm just curious. As for the insurance money, when MDFSM first mentioned it I thought perfect, this could go a long way to making life easier right now. HA!!! fooled me. I know that MDFSM is most likely furious that I was listed as beneficiary because I'm sure she feels that she is more deserving. Not my problem. As I see it, my mother was never really there for me when I was growing up so this would sort of be a way of her finally helping me out. We'll see how it goes.
MDFSM knows about my blog and has read it in the past. I'm curious as to whether or not she ever reads it now and if she does how she'll feel about this post. It's really not meant to slam her it's just to tell my story and she's part of it.
And there you have it. It's just always something.