Sunday, September 12, 2021

A post that shouldn't be written

 And yet, here I am writing it any way. I'm tired, I'm stressed and anxiety is setting in. When I get like this I feel very alone in the world. It's also when all the things that I can normally deal with seem to become extra large and weigh me down.  It isn't any one thing that has me feeling this way. It's a combination of things. If I don't post as much or suddenly do a disappearing act, you'll know I'm experiencing a mini melt down. 

So why shouldn't this post be written? Because I don't like my blog to be all "woe is me". And now that I have written this post I feel like I owe you some flowers and candy. 



18 comments:

Ginny Hartzler said...

You don't owe us anything! Our blogs are to post our feelings and what is happening with us, and anything else we want. And writing about things can make it better. Plus I like to know why someone is not posting, with an honest answer. I hope you feel better real soon. Perhaps it will help to eat these chocolates yourself, they release a chemical that feels like love.

CheerfulMonk said...

I wish there were something we could do to help...please don't feel you have to censor what you write. You're exhausted and I worry about your having to work so hard and not getting enough rest and fun. Please do whatever you can to take care of yourself and pamper yourself any way you can. Much love. ❤️πŸ’•❤️πŸ’•

Hootin Anni said...

Be happy soon!!

Rose said...

You could never be a woe is me blogger...we all gave these days but some of us are not as honest. I, for one, always admire someone who can say what they feel and what is on their mind.

Sandi said...

Look up, way up. 😊

MadSnapper said...

you already know that I POST EVERYTHING including WOE, and lots of it... We want to know when you are down or up so we can HUG you... I thought the candy meant you were down and eating lots of chocalate? did you try that yet? I had a max melt down, you are entitled to a mini melt down! Talk to ME in email, it helps

The Feminine Energy said...

Never apologize for posting "reality", my sweet friend!! Life is NOT all giggles and you never have to put on an act for us. Talking about how we feel usually makes us feel better, as we're talking to kindred spirits. I am down and blue too... and don't quite know the reason behind it. But alas, that's what it is. Perhaps it's COVID, perhaps it's work, perhaps it's family dynamics, perhaps it's any number of things that gather together and make one BIG explosion. Now's the time to try and read some uplifting books... new age ones I find are the best help. Have you ever heard of Byron Katie? Oh my gosh, Ann, she's wonderful. Check out some YouTube videos by her or her website. Treat yourself to a used book of hers from Amazon... I'd recommend "A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are". You have to read it when you're quiet and fresh... but the tidbits she shares are wonderful. I'm keeping you close in thought & prayer, kiddo. Hang in there and please don't stop blogging because you don't want to be a downer... because we're here for you in the shadows and not only in the sunshine! ~Andrea xoxoxo

Forsythia said...

No need to apologize. You spoke kindly to me when I spilled the beans about my illness. I was afraid it might come off as one big pity party, but you were there to say it's OK to vent. Life has its ups and downs, that's for sure. To feel you always have to present a smiley face is just exhausting, because not every day in life is a "Smiley Face" day.

Debby said...

No worries - I totally understand. When I get that way, I take a nap or two or three. I sure hope you will be up to par soon.

Jackie See said...

I understand. I feel exhausted and empty both mentally and physically. I feel that people are tired of hearing all the difficult situations I may be in both mentally, physically and worldly. I can't change the world, or any person in it, even those that tell me they love me. I am now too old to physically work to try and cope or fix the problem. I have reached an age where all my energy is spent taking care of myself and my husband and our health. I have been the solution to too many problems that don not belong to me directly. Now I am saying no to myself therefor I must say to no others as well. Life is changing for me. I journal, do mental exercises as sometimes I feel to numb to write anything down. I also track what I eat, etc. This keeps my mind busy and it feels like I have a job now. A job of putting my needs above some others. I require that I do one nice thing for someone (usually a card, visit, phone call, baked good, food) each day. AND I put myself on that list. What am I going to do today that is being nice to me? Only me? AND I quit telling my close friends, family and others how bad my daily battles were. Not because they don't care, but because I needed them to provide me a more positive feedback in our conversations. I now spend time being around positive people, news, food, everything I can. I am not saying I don't fall off the "happy surroundings wagon" but when I do, I do not beat myself up for it. I welcome the sadness even if it lasts a few days. Then I begin this positivity journey again. I am now after a few months noticing that I am having more good days than bad. I caught myself laughing for an entire evening last week. The negative feelings are getting less. I am starting to actually feel a bit of "ME" again, but only in spurts. I'll stay on my positivity journey forever. I pray you can get your thoughts focused on new adventures, new friends, and new foods!

Far Side of Fifty said...

I came over from Andreas...Hope you feel better soon, this is your blog and you can write whatever you want! I know many people are having a rough time...summer is over and covid...etc...stress. You are not alone.

Catherine - Mixed Media Artist said...

Totally understand where you are coming from - one of my "wagon wheels" fell of my ship in the last couple of weeks, and another one is still looser than it should be...why because I'm all out of happiness with our current lockdown in NZ and in particular my region. If only the covidiots would stay home, put on their mask and follow the restrictions. Some day, this will all be a distant memory...hang in their Ann

Kate said...

Hugs to you.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

That candy looks good!
((HUGS)) Take Care.

Pam said...

I hate those days, I can usually pin point mine being due to my pain. I can generally smile my pain away from others but not always myself. When it gets so bad, I have to cut myself off from others and have my pity party. Take care, feel better.

Jeanette said...

Oh I'm sorry I missed this post this weekend. I hope you are feeling better now. It's not hard to get the blues these days and especially so if you are alone. My thoughts are with you!

DeniseinVA said...

Getting feelings written down is such a good thing to do, so anytime you need to, just go ahead. I'll venture to say we all understand what you're going through and from personal experience, know what it's like. We are all pulling for you and here's a virtual hug around the shoulders from me xx

Duni said...

The blog is a good way of releasing the stress and anxiety. I'm a bit late reading this, but sending a big hug across the ocean to you Ann <3

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